REI Garage Sale=Best Value for Misers Like Me

So I'm a member of REI, and let's be honest, I'm a pretty green outdoorsmen. I've always wanted to be more of one, with dreadlocks and lots of anklets and tan and really good at climbing rocks and a wearer of bandanas, except they look cool. One of those. Biggest obstacle to me becoming this=equipment is ridiculously expensive, and you need some essentials to get started. The only problem is I'm po', and I'm a penny-pincher. (I'm Scottish. Deal with it).


Well, I've been balding since I was 17, I'm more of a bracelet-man myself, my skin is as pale as a translucent moonfish, and I'm mediocre at rock climbing. I do wear bandanas, though. I'll leave it at that.

So before you get all concerned with my stereotyping or self-confidence issues or my penchant for placing too much importance on some "cool person" image I've created for myself, let me just say that I'm proud to be a member of REI.. I'm one step closer to being the adventurer I long to be. And I'm okay with my skin color and my premature balding and the fact that I'm a rock-climbing student with much to learn (though I'm doing alright for myself). And dreads (dreds?)smell bad anyway.

That being said, REI has a members-only garage sale every year in the summer, and boy howdy, there are so good deals. Seriously. All the garage sale goods are used items, either once (i.e. some kid bought boots and thought they hurt, but the jokes on him because all boots are supposed to hurt for a while) or many times (we'll get to that later). Even if I bought a pair of shoes from REI in 1979 (I was born in 1987), I could waltz in today and return them for a refund , and then my boots would get sold in the sale! Amazing.
Okay, so people camp out (that's a funny) for this thing, no joke. Crowds of people clamboring for marked down goods. And REI is not cheap, but this stuff=real cheap. So the crowds didn't surprise me. Here's what I bought. Prepare for jealousy:

LOWA Renegade GTX Mid (Narrow Width) Hiking Boots

RETAIL: $199.95

MY PRICE: $18.83

The previous owner had them a week and thought them too narrow (narrow width! Duh!)

AND....

REI Brand Cruise UL 60 2007 Lightweight Backpack

RETAIL: $103.99

MY PRICE: $19.83

I found this covertly sitting in the back with the full-price packs. It's like heaven, it's so light. People were glaring at me the whole time with slanted eyes, all up in my biz about me having the pack and not them. No joke. I saw hate come out of these people. But I found it! Geez.

AND...

Kelty Trail Dome 4

RETAIL: $179.95

MY PRICE: $24.83

So this purportedly had two broken poles and 1 rain-canopy pole was absent. No problem. It was used, for sure, but people were buying literally buggy-fulls of discount tents. I had to get what I could. I unrolled it later and it's crazy-ripped. There's a foot-long rip near the door and a big puncture rip near it, and there's no pegs! I can't complain too much, though. Look at that price!

I also bought a baby caribiner and a Nalgene, but those weren't discounted and thus, not too interesting. All in all, it was awesome savings times. Check out the final savings manifest:

FINAL SAVINGS MANIFEST

Total Retail Value: $483.89

Total Reduced Value: $63.49

Total Savings: $420.40

Woah baby! That's alot of money. I'm on the way. Next time you see me I'll be munching granola on a mountain top in the haze of a campfire in front of my Kelty Trail Dome 4. Probably.

Thanks REI and customers who didn't like your merchandise!

Latest Regret #1345.4A: Not Learning Lindy Hop

I love swing dancing. East coast swing dancing, let me clarify. Westies out there will be horrified if I don't specify. They are serious. Like gang serious. 

But the thing is, like working out, me going dancing doesn't happen enough. Every so often on wednesday or saturday when dancing is nigh in Dallas, (which it is yearly-ask me! We'll go as per your impetus), I finally get myself on the dance floor, provided there are people there with me (at least one, and not even a girl). I love it! And I dream to learn more.

I want a great pair of shoes so I can finally do the Lindy hop! It's such a fast, exuberant dance that can really get crazy! If you haven't seen it, get on that: 

Not sped up a all either. Those dancers are legit. I have seen this. 

So I'll be able to do that. One day. That's the dream. 

I can dance that fast in my heart, I just need someone to learn with!

Doesn't it just look amazing? 

Sons of Hermann Hall, every wednesday 5$ 

and Sammon Arts Center, every saturday 7$! Better than a movie, I swear.