So who hates people who double park? (Raise hands) How about people who park at a terrible angle the juts right out into the next space so they are double parking anyway? (More hands) So how about the worst offenders, people would park horizontally into 3 or so spaces? This happens, I promise (All hands should go up-except those jerks at the back who know they double park).
I was watching someone park their car out of my window the other day and I cringed because she zipped into her spot a very acute angle and was half-car in and half-car out. It was a really bad job, you know? So I got to thinking about cars being parked, and I know that some cars today can be put into 'park mode' where, thanks to computers and cameras, the car essentially parks itself.
However, citing the costs and the just plain non-universality of this amazing feature in just about all of today's cars, I propose a different and fool proof parking method: parking grooves. Think of those car wash things that grab your tires but operated instead by your car's tire turning the tire grips and cranking a chain that pulls the car forward! It's a two-way chain so you can reverse, too. It's pretty genius, so I've included completely copywrighted sketches of the product below:
If you can't tell, the width is wide enough to accomodate any conventional tire size and also the graded entrance ramp flares into a wide angle to allow cars to enter from all sorts of different angles! How great is that?
I know these are just one step ahead of the day, but you know, that's why they call me a forward thinker, a visionary, if you will. One day, we'll see these autoparkers (hopefully) everywhere, between every white or yellow line. No longer will double parking be an plague upon us honest drivers but all will park equally and equally greatly.
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